I am a fan of `Friends`; so is my
wife now, willy-nilly, and we make it a point never to miss it - even though
this is the umpteenth time the complete cycle has been repeated and we are
familiar with every episode and know what is going to happen! But we love every
minute of it; at least I do.
What drew me to it and why, you may ask, is a man of my age raving about it so? Before coming to that, let me just say that when the series was first broadcast, in the latter half of the `90s, we were still working and busy with our personal, social and professional lives, and in any case at that time there was just one episode every week. And then there were also `Frasier` and the remnants of `Cheers` to watch too as light entertainment. So during those early showings, we caught the flavour of the programme but did not follow it minutely. It was not until about five or six years ago, with cable tv networks catching on the `Friends` phenomenon, that it really captured our imagination; this also coincided with our retirement, and its aura just grew and grew. Our viewing habits also changed and have since become focused and time-limited.
Last night`s episodes were the ones when `Ross and Rachel Take a Break`, and we both, and certainly I, feel that the one of `The Morning After` is the best or nearly that of the lot (and it is that which has prompted me to write this now). That is the one where Ross wakes up to find that he had slept with the photocopy shop-girl Chloe and then to his horror that Rachel had phoned and left a very moving message on his voicemail. The action then moves fast, with the exposure of `the trail`, and we come to the point when R & R burst into the front of the apartment while the other four (friends) are in Monica`s room, and loudly confront each other. Here we see the whole gamut of emotions, played out painstakingly and movingly, not just by R & R, but by the others as well. Rachel`s face and demeanour show real, deep hurt. She is inconsolable. Ross is guilt-ridden and ashamed. They fight, they argue, they shout; she clobbers him, he whinges. The other four are trapped on the other side of the door; we see Monica`s anguish as a loving sister and friend; the boys are bemused and bewildered; even crazy Phoebe is subdued! We are gripped by this tragic drama - so real, so touching, so human! R`s expressions of love and regret are not enough; we empathise with him but know that in the end Rachel is right to break up with him; anything less or else would simply not do.
And the friends? Well, surely we can understand why, when the tension breaks, Monica says, `Look at them; here we are; it is 3 AM and they are not even bothered about whether I am home or what may have happened to me`, or words to that effect? Where the programme scores always is in the detail, of this and many other kinds. As Joey gingerly tiptoes across the open plan inside hall holding his shoes in his hands, Chandler cannot help asking him, in his characteristically sardonic tones, if he was practising his `new walk`, to which Joey`s disarmingly simple riposte was `No, I really do have to pee` (!), while Monica quietly drapes a cloak over the sleeping Rachel. To end such a sombre episode with a sequence like that shows just the right amount of balance between comedy and drama.
Throughout the complete series, spanning some 10 years and an equal number of `seasons`, we are witness to the flowering of the friends from the care-free early twenty-somethings into responsible, mature adults on the threshold of settled family life. It was this that dawned on us as we got absorbed into their lives. We had experienced the same - all those decades ago. The parallel was so stark and striking that we could relate to every aspect of `Friends`. We too were yuppies, in our mid-twenties - a group of friends who interacted with each other in more or less the same way - meeting almost every day over coffee or in some watering hole for drinks; having evenings out or dropping in at a particular friend`s apartment which became our meeting point; taking holidays together or going away on safaris. Ok, we didn`t sleep around much but some of us did have the occasional flings; and others went through the angst of singlehood - relationships, engagements, and break-ups even. But we had fun. We also had our professional careers and other (social and family) commitments, but these never impinged on our friendship.
We had a ten-year run of that phase of our lives - during or by the end of which most of us married and had children, at different times, and then emigrated. But those friendships have endured, through time and space, and we now have occasional reunions, across continents - not necessarily formally organized, but say when the children of one or another of us get married, and often just ad hoc and not always with everyone being present.
But to go back to `Friends`; just consider how much is packed into every episode and then multiply it by the total of the whole series! There is economy, depth, meaning, humour (that of course being the raison d`etre and the central plank of the whole thing), and above all fine acting. Its basic sit-com format was easily established right at the outset. The six characters were a mixed bunch; four of them had a history of connections and the other two just drifted in and fitted with the rest, and they all gelled, as might happen in real life. So we see them in all sorts of situations, ranging from the daily coffee sessions to outings and other external events. They quarrel, they make up; they venture out and get back together again - much like any other group of people closely involved with each other.
My favourite character is Monica. Courteney Cox plays her absolutely brilliantly. She is such a sensitive soul - and, yes, fussy and always the organizer and the cheer leader! She is aware that she is not her parents` darling child - Ross fills that position - and in particular that her mother is hypercritical and antipathetic towards her. But as with everything else, each member of the family stays true to their templates throughout. The parents are a `sixties generation, sexually adventurous, socially liberal couple. Their idiosyncrasies and shenanigans fit in well with the general scheme of the younger folk`s life-style. As for Ross and Monica, their brother-sister relationship is affectionate, caring and endearing always; this is demonstrated in small ways and big - gentle kisses and hugs, sisterly concern, brotherly advice - even fights reminiscent of their childhood days, the most memorable being the one on the football field!
As for Monica, as time flies, we see her flitting in and out of affairs (as of course does everyone else), but the one that affects her most and lasts longest is when she falls in love with Richard, and vice versa. It is beautifully handled, and acted, at every turn and twist of the tale. Tom Selleck as Richard is superb; he even shaves off his moustache when he makes a reappearance after they had parted.
Ross and Monica (and their parents) provide the cohesive link and purpose of the basic plot-line. Without them the gang would not have remained glued. Ross can be silly and stupid, as much as, in their different ways, both Chandler and Joey. The same applies to the girls also except that, in my view, Monica is the least frivolous of them all. At that age and in that fictional setting, I am sure I would have been infatuated with her!!
Every member of the gang is given their proper due, in terms of space and depth and a framework of reference. So we see their characters develop fully. Chandler, for example, from the rather insecure and fragile young man - who uses humour as a means both of keeping deeper emotions hidden while at the same cultivating a playful image of himself - to a caring and respectable adult who convinces Monica, when much later they go through the process of adopting a child, that the right thing to do is to own up to their un-premeditated deceit as to who they were rather than cover it up. The programme excels in other respects too; the six characters stay true to what is expected of them in the light of their individual history and circumstances.
And each one has their family brought in at some point or another: R & R`s parents are of course a regular presence, while both Chandler`s and Rachel`s, as well as Joey`s, dysfunctional dad and mum have their stint in too, as do Phoebe`s twin-sister, surrogate mum and her disembodied grandmother!
`Friends` of course is about friendship; that is the running theme. The six have much merriment together, but also have serious moments of crisis and falling out. They are, above all, a very moral bunch of people. Take any random scenario: when, for example, Chandler is drawn to Joey`s girl-friend and they kiss, Joey explodes characteristically - irrationally. He says he would not have minded if Chandler had asked him first, but does not realize - and Chandler is too embarrassed and intimidated to explain to him - that when you get into a situation like that, as he puts it, `one thing leads to another` and before you know it the act is done; you do not have a breather to put the brakes on. And they had actually stopped there, didn`t go beyond it. But to backtrack a little, when the other friends found out, they were all urging him to tell Joey. And that happened at another time also, when Ross kissed Chandler`s mum, or when Joey sees (`Oh my God`) Janice kissing her ex-husband, or when Ross insists that Phoebe has to be disabused of her obsession with the lost cat as a reincarnation of her mother! Always, when one of them was not behaving properly or needed help, the others rallied round to give critical guidance and comfort.
And the other messages that `Friends` spreads are not so much politically correct as just grounded in basic humanity. Take Ross`s relationship with his lesbian ex-wife and her new partner. We even see the two women get married, with him giving Carol away! That is putting us into the mainstream of the sexual revolution. The several black or other ethnic characters are introduced and play out their parts without carrying their badges of identity on their heads - matter of factly. All kinds of other issues of present-day concern are also touched on or explored throughout - too numerous to mention here. Above all, the whole series is remarkable for its narrative continuity and consistency, and for maintaining a linear trajectory.
It is well known that within a very short time, `Friends` had become so popular that many celebrities wanted to appear on it (including, it was rumoured, Bill Clinton after he had left office) and some did do as cameo walk-ons: Isabella Rossini, as herself, Billy Crystal and Robin Williams. Other heavy-weight actors (Bruce Willis, Sean Penn, Reese Witherspoon) also featured for varying periods of time. And so, to cut this short, we see all the usual rites of passage - of birth, death, marriage, affairs, split-ups, divorce, career breaks, employment and relationship blues and everything else - portrayed beautifully and sensitively, and always with a light touch. At the end, all the six characters come through - enhanced, sober, intact. As it happens, all of them are paired off, except for Joey!
There is so much more that one can say, because for me it is almost as if we are living through the ten year span of the series in real time. Its every episode takes us back, to our own precious past, and we are reminded of all that happened in our lives. More importantly, the parallel now also extends across three generations, at least among those nearest to us. During our family card sessions at weekends, for example, our common interest in `Friends` provides an easy talking point and makes it possible to relate to each other that much more! That is why to touch base with our virtual `Friends` on a daily basis has become a compelling habit! When we are away abroad on holiday it is always such a pleasant and welcome surprise, when we switch on the telly in our hotel room (in some exotic location such as Hanoi, Bangkok, Santiago, Buenos Aires, Mumbai, Kolkatta, Kathmandu or wherever) and flicking through the channels come upon them! It is like catching up with old friends indeed.
Surely one day, say 10 years after `Friends` ended in 2004, there will be a `Friends Reunited`, even as a one-of! If one or two of the six main actors are not keen or available then, they can always be `killed off` imaginatively and remembered in retrospect. We shall see.
What drew me to it and why, you may ask, is a man of my age raving about it so? Before coming to that, let me just say that when the series was first broadcast, in the latter half of the `90s, we were still working and busy with our personal, social and professional lives, and in any case at that time there was just one episode every week. And then there were also `Frasier` and the remnants of `Cheers` to watch too as light entertainment. So during those early showings, we caught the flavour of the programme but did not follow it minutely. It was not until about five or six years ago, with cable tv networks catching on the `Friends` phenomenon, that it really captured our imagination; this also coincided with our retirement, and its aura just grew and grew. Our viewing habits also changed and have since become focused and time-limited.
Last night`s episodes were the ones when `Ross and Rachel Take a Break`, and we both, and certainly I, feel that the one of `The Morning After` is the best or nearly that of the lot (and it is that which has prompted me to write this now). That is the one where Ross wakes up to find that he had slept with the photocopy shop-girl Chloe and then to his horror that Rachel had phoned and left a very moving message on his voicemail. The action then moves fast, with the exposure of `the trail`, and we come to the point when R & R burst into the front of the apartment while the other four (friends) are in Monica`s room, and loudly confront each other. Here we see the whole gamut of emotions, played out painstakingly and movingly, not just by R & R, but by the others as well. Rachel`s face and demeanour show real, deep hurt. She is inconsolable. Ross is guilt-ridden and ashamed. They fight, they argue, they shout; she clobbers him, he whinges. The other four are trapped on the other side of the door; we see Monica`s anguish as a loving sister and friend; the boys are bemused and bewildered; even crazy Phoebe is subdued! We are gripped by this tragic drama - so real, so touching, so human! R`s expressions of love and regret are not enough; we empathise with him but know that in the end Rachel is right to break up with him; anything less or else would simply not do.
And the friends? Well, surely we can understand why, when the tension breaks, Monica says, `Look at them; here we are; it is 3 AM and they are not even bothered about whether I am home or what may have happened to me`, or words to that effect? Where the programme scores always is in the detail, of this and many other kinds. As Joey gingerly tiptoes across the open plan inside hall holding his shoes in his hands, Chandler cannot help asking him, in his characteristically sardonic tones, if he was practising his `new walk`, to which Joey`s disarmingly simple riposte was `No, I really do have to pee` (!), while Monica quietly drapes a cloak over the sleeping Rachel. To end such a sombre episode with a sequence like that shows just the right amount of balance between comedy and drama.
Throughout the complete series, spanning some 10 years and an equal number of `seasons`, we are witness to the flowering of the friends from the care-free early twenty-somethings into responsible, mature adults on the threshold of settled family life. It was this that dawned on us as we got absorbed into their lives. We had experienced the same - all those decades ago. The parallel was so stark and striking that we could relate to every aspect of `Friends`. We too were yuppies, in our mid-twenties - a group of friends who interacted with each other in more or less the same way - meeting almost every day over coffee or in some watering hole for drinks; having evenings out or dropping in at a particular friend`s apartment which became our meeting point; taking holidays together or going away on safaris. Ok, we didn`t sleep around much but some of us did have the occasional flings; and others went through the angst of singlehood - relationships, engagements, and break-ups even. But we had fun. We also had our professional careers and other (social and family) commitments, but these never impinged on our friendship.
We had a ten-year run of that phase of our lives - during or by the end of which most of us married and had children, at different times, and then emigrated. But those friendships have endured, through time and space, and we now have occasional reunions, across continents - not necessarily formally organized, but say when the children of one or another of us get married, and often just ad hoc and not always with everyone being present.
But to go back to `Friends`; just consider how much is packed into every episode and then multiply it by the total of the whole series! There is economy, depth, meaning, humour (that of course being the raison d`etre and the central plank of the whole thing), and above all fine acting. Its basic sit-com format was easily established right at the outset. The six characters were a mixed bunch; four of them had a history of connections and the other two just drifted in and fitted with the rest, and they all gelled, as might happen in real life. So we see them in all sorts of situations, ranging from the daily coffee sessions to outings and other external events. They quarrel, they make up; they venture out and get back together again - much like any other group of people closely involved with each other.
My favourite character is Monica. Courteney Cox plays her absolutely brilliantly. She is such a sensitive soul - and, yes, fussy and always the organizer and the cheer leader! She is aware that she is not her parents` darling child - Ross fills that position - and in particular that her mother is hypercritical and antipathetic towards her. But as with everything else, each member of the family stays true to their templates throughout. The parents are a `sixties generation, sexually adventurous, socially liberal couple. Their idiosyncrasies and shenanigans fit in well with the general scheme of the younger folk`s life-style. As for Ross and Monica, their brother-sister relationship is affectionate, caring and endearing always; this is demonstrated in small ways and big - gentle kisses and hugs, sisterly concern, brotherly advice - even fights reminiscent of their childhood days, the most memorable being the one on the football field!
As for Monica, as time flies, we see her flitting in and out of affairs (as of course does everyone else), but the one that affects her most and lasts longest is when she falls in love with Richard, and vice versa. It is beautifully handled, and acted, at every turn and twist of the tale. Tom Selleck as Richard is superb; he even shaves off his moustache when he makes a reappearance after they had parted.
Ross and Monica (and their parents) provide the cohesive link and purpose of the basic plot-line. Without them the gang would not have remained glued. Ross can be silly and stupid, as much as, in their different ways, both Chandler and Joey. The same applies to the girls also except that, in my view, Monica is the least frivolous of them all. At that age and in that fictional setting, I am sure I would have been infatuated with her!!
Every member of the gang is given their proper due, in terms of space and depth and a framework of reference. So we see their characters develop fully. Chandler, for example, from the rather insecure and fragile young man - who uses humour as a means both of keeping deeper emotions hidden while at the same cultivating a playful image of himself - to a caring and respectable adult who convinces Monica, when much later they go through the process of adopting a child, that the right thing to do is to own up to their un-premeditated deceit as to who they were rather than cover it up. The programme excels in other respects too; the six characters stay true to what is expected of them in the light of their individual history and circumstances.
And each one has their family brought in at some point or another: R & R`s parents are of course a regular presence, while both Chandler`s and Rachel`s, as well as Joey`s, dysfunctional dad and mum have their stint in too, as do Phoebe`s twin-sister, surrogate mum and her disembodied grandmother!
`Friends` of course is about friendship; that is the running theme. The six have much merriment together, but also have serious moments of crisis and falling out. They are, above all, a very moral bunch of people. Take any random scenario: when, for example, Chandler is drawn to Joey`s girl-friend and they kiss, Joey explodes characteristically - irrationally. He says he would not have minded if Chandler had asked him first, but does not realize - and Chandler is too embarrassed and intimidated to explain to him - that when you get into a situation like that, as he puts it, `one thing leads to another` and before you know it the act is done; you do not have a breather to put the brakes on. And they had actually stopped there, didn`t go beyond it. But to backtrack a little, when the other friends found out, they were all urging him to tell Joey. And that happened at another time also, when Ross kissed Chandler`s mum, or when Joey sees (`Oh my God`) Janice kissing her ex-husband, or when Ross insists that Phoebe has to be disabused of her obsession with the lost cat as a reincarnation of her mother! Always, when one of them was not behaving properly or needed help, the others rallied round to give critical guidance and comfort.
And the other messages that `Friends` spreads are not so much politically correct as just grounded in basic humanity. Take Ross`s relationship with his lesbian ex-wife and her new partner. We even see the two women get married, with him giving Carol away! That is putting us into the mainstream of the sexual revolution. The several black or other ethnic characters are introduced and play out their parts without carrying their badges of identity on their heads - matter of factly. All kinds of other issues of present-day concern are also touched on or explored throughout - too numerous to mention here. Above all, the whole series is remarkable for its narrative continuity and consistency, and for maintaining a linear trajectory.
It is well known that within a very short time, `Friends` had become so popular that many celebrities wanted to appear on it (including, it was rumoured, Bill Clinton after he had left office) and some did do as cameo walk-ons: Isabella Rossini, as herself, Billy Crystal and Robin Williams. Other heavy-weight actors (Bruce Willis, Sean Penn, Reese Witherspoon) also featured for varying periods of time. And so, to cut this short, we see all the usual rites of passage - of birth, death, marriage, affairs, split-ups, divorce, career breaks, employment and relationship blues and everything else - portrayed beautifully and sensitively, and always with a light touch. At the end, all the six characters come through - enhanced, sober, intact. As it happens, all of them are paired off, except for Joey!
There is so much more that one can say, because for me it is almost as if we are living through the ten year span of the series in real time. Its every episode takes us back, to our own precious past, and we are reminded of all that happened in our lives. More importantly, the parallel now also extends across three generations, at least among those nearest to us. During our family card sessions at weekends, for example, our common interest in `Friends` provides an easy talking point and makes it possible to relate to each other that much more! That is why to touch base with our virtual `Friends` on a daily basis has become a compelling habit! When we are away abroad on holiday it is always such a pleasant and welcome surprise, when we switch on the telly in our hotel room (in some exotic location such as Hanoi, Bangkok, Santiago, Buenos Aires, Mumbai, Kolkatta, Kathmandu or wherever) and flicking through the channels come upon them! It is like catching up with old friends indeed.
Surely one day, say 10 years after `Friends` ended in 2004, there will be a `Friends Reunited`, even as a one-of! If one or two of the six main actors are not keen or available then, they can always be `killed off` imaginatively and remembered in retrospect. We shall see.
RAMNIK SHAH
Copyright
Surrey England
